Introduction
Every man in this audience either has a partner who has been through menopause, is going through it now, or is about to. Most of them have had no idea what was happening. Most of them took it personally. And almost none of them had anywhere to go for help.
Thea O’Connor has spent years filling that gap. She is a menopause educator and TEDx speaker who has interviewed men specifically about their experience of a partner’s menopause — and who delivers the only workshops of their kind designed to help men understand what’s happening and what to actually do about it. Her research keeps producing the same finding: men are keen and caring but feeling clueless and helpless. The information hasn’t existed. Until now.
In this conversation with Pod O’Sullivan, Thea covers the basics that most men have never been given — what perimenopause actually is, why it can cause what she calls dishwasher rage, and what the research says about why a man’s attitude genuinely affects how severe his partner’s symptoms are. She also talks about what men told her they most needed, why they feel they don’t have the right to say anything, and what Orca whales have to do with all of it.
This is the conversation most men have been waiting for someone to have.
What You'll Hear
- What perimenopause actually is and why it’s often more disruptive than menopause itself — explained plainly, without clinical jargon
- Why a man’s attitude towards his partner’s menopause is scientifically linked to the severity of her symptoms — and what that means for how you show up at home
- The two things men struggle with most — mood changes and changes in libido — and why both are more complicated than they first appear
- Why most men feel they have no right to say anything, and why Thea thinks that’s wrong
- The Orca whale research: why postmenopausal female orcas are promoted into leadership roles when resources become scarce — and what that means for the women in your life
- What Thea told the senior male partners at a Sydney law firm when she was brought in to brief them
- The reframe that Thea’s program says doubles the number of women who feel they can manage their symptoms — and what men can do to support it
If your partner has been going through this and you haven’t known what to do, this episode is the manual you were never given.
Thea is doing a national survey on men’s experience.
The survey is available to take online and can be taken anonymously. It consists of 13 questions. Thea will use the findings to give voice to men’s experience and inform the design of education opportunities for men. Survey participants can opt in to receive a copy of the final report summarising findings, due for release Q1, 2027.
N.B: the focus is on how men are affected by women’s experience of menopause (not about men experiencing something akin to menopause.)
Guest info
Thea O'Connor
Thea O’Connor is a Sydney-based menopause educator, TEDx speaker, workplace consultant, and founder of the Orca Effect program. She has given evidence to Australian Senate inquiries on menopause in the workplace, contributed to international workplace standards, and has spent years interviewing men about their experience of a partner’s menopause — research that has informed the design of male-specific menopause education programs she delivers in workplaces across Australia.
She turned 60 recently and describes herself as firmly in her power decade. She lives in Sydney.
