digital, Author at Don't Let The Old Man In

Creating His Story

Support Tim Hewson as he takes the stage to tell his story.

‘The War Inside My Head’ invites us to take an unfiltered look at the war no one else sees, the courage required to confront the noise and what it takes to win the battle over moments of truth, tough decisions and impossible choices when life is at a crossroad.

Event details:

📆 Wednesday, 22 April 2026
⏰ 6:30pm – 9.00pm
📍Beresford Hotel – 354 Bourke Street, Surry Hills.

Tim will be supported by a cracker line-up of Storytellers including Don’t Let The Old Man In Podcast host – Pod O’Sullivan.

From their 20s to 70s+, they will take the stage with nothing but a microphone and an opportunity to share a story that has helped shape who they are as men.

Don’t miss out, grab your Tickets now.

Charity Partner

A portion of all Ticket Sales will be donated to the Mongrels Men mental health and suicide prevention charity.

You can listen to Pod’s interview with Tim here – Why Men Need Mates More Than Advice

The Sandwich Generation

By Stephen Keys

Sustaining three generations without losing yourself

You have raised your kids to the best of your ability. They’ve finished school, maybe even uni. They’re ambitious twenty-somethings. Some of your music tastes have rubbed off on them, and yes, that does make you feel a little smug.

They’re working hard, chipping away at student debt, and trying to break into a housing market that makes The Hunger Games look like a stroll in the park. Oh and they’re still occupying a bedroom in the family home. Not just for the Wi-Fi.

Meanwhile, your parents are entering a quieter, more reflective season. There are medical appointments, mobility issues, maybe even dwindling savings as the cost of living outpaces their retirement plans. And you? You’re right in the middle of it all.

Welcome to the Sandwich Generation 2.0.

The isn’t the life we planned (but it’s the one we got)

Coined in the 1980s to describe women juggling kids and aging parents, the “sandwich generation” label now belongs to many of us (men, women, couples) doing our best to care for both ends of the generational stick while trying to avoid snapping in half ourselves.

But here’s the good news: midlife doesn’t have to be a purely logistical mess of calendars, meal prep, and late-night pharmacy runs. With the right mindset, it can be a stage of meaning, growth, and intentional redesign.

The new normal

We are living longer than previous generations (a genuine miracle). Australian Bureau of Statistics 2023 data shows life expectancy in Australia for a newborn at 83 years. But living longer doesn’t always equate to living healthier. According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, the so-called “healthy life expectancy” (or years spent in full health) lags behind life expectancy, meaning there’s a growing gap between years lived and years lived well. That gap, for our parents and for us, will cost time, money and support if we’re to make those extra years meaningful and manageable.

Meanwhile, the world for youngsters isn’t just handed on a silver platter. Living costs in Australia are rising rapidly. The government’s living-cost indexes show quarterly increases of between 0.6% and 1.5% in the September 2025 quarter alone. Young adults are feeling the squeeze: in a 2024 survey by Mission Australia, 56% of people aged 15–19 identified cost of living as their top concern. At the same time, youth unemployment remains elevated, with trend data showing the youth unemployment rate at about 10.2% as of September 2025.

In short: our parents have time (more years) but the resources and energy to use them well may be stretched. And the next generation need a running start into adulthood at a time when the track is steeper and the hurdles higher.

If we’re honest, navigating this “sandwich” moment for midlifers requires us to ask tough questions about how we invest in health and wealth, not just individually, but as families and a society.

Helping your kids without hurting your future

Let’s be clear. It’s OK to help your adult children. They’re facing headwinds we never knew. The average Sydney house price in 2000 was around $233,000; now it’s nudging $1.4 million. According to Australian Property Update, today’s 25-year-olds need 14 years to save a deposit. When we were 25? Just six years. And interest rates? Try 18% in 1990, yes sure, but on a house worth less than your car is today. It’s not the same race.

A 2025 Forbes report found nearly 60% of parents with adult children provide ongoing financial support. So, you’re not alone. But support doesn’t mean sacrifice. If you drain your super now, who’ll be bailing out whom in 20 years? Maybe instead let’s start with this question: “What can I afford to give without compromising my own financial security?”

From that foundation, we might then ask: “How do I help them build independence?” Open financial conversations are key. Share your own money mistakes and savings / investment schemes. Talk about budgets. Even if you’re still paying their phone bill, encourage them to co-pay on rent or utilities. Teach them to plan. If you need a primer, check out this article on financial literacy.

Your parents are teaching you (whether you notice or not)

At the other end, your parents are living in the soft light of evening. You may be helping with medications, transportation, downsizing, even navigating in-home care. Whatever is happening, pay attention. Their experience is your future in preview.

Have they planned their will and legal authority?
Do they live within easy reach of important services?
Are they isolated or engaged?
Is their home future proof as mobility declines?
Are they avoiding important conversations?

Let their journey inform yours. Make your will. Organise enduring power of attorney. Write down your healthcare wishes. Talk with your family. It’s not morbid, it’s a gift.

Breaking the cycle

So how do we care for others and protect our own future? Start here:

Secure your own oxygen mask first: Protect your retirement. You’re not selfish. You’re ensuring your kids won’t be paying your rent in 2045.
Raise financially literate adults: Set expectations. Tie support to behaviour. Teach them the value of compounding interest (the eighth wonder of the world) and cooking their own meals.
Invest in health and connection: Physical health, mental agility, and friendships all buffer against the slow fade. Book the check-up. Take the walk. Say yes to the book club. Even the one with wine. Especially the one with wine.

And if you’re keen to explore advanced care planning further, it’s definitely worth tuning into this week’s episode of the Don’t Let The Old Man In podcast, featuring Dr Merran Cooper (click here for more details).

Designing the life you want (before someone else does it for you)

Agency is a fancy word that sounds like something out of a social sciences textbook, but it really means making choices now, and that starts by asking a simple question: “Who’s writing your story?”

We grew up believing in work, duty, sacrifice. But what if the point of midlife wasn’t just more of the same? A recent Straits Times article in Singapore put it beautifully: “It’s not just about living longer. It’s about having a say in how we live later. And that begins in our 50s, not in our 80s.”

That’s the takeaway. Don’t wait for retirement to start planning your life. Do it now, while you still know where your glasses are.

A final word of encouragement

Feeling stretched thin? That doesn’t mean you’re failing. This can feel like a hard season at times for many of us. But it’s not a dead end.

And actually, while I do worry about it, I often pause to count my blessings. How lucky am I that my parents are still with us, and I have the chance to care for them as they cared for me? How grateful am I that I have the chance to help my kids navigate their transition into working adulthood? These are gifts.

We can pay these gifts forward. We can honour our parents by paying attention, and shaping a future where our kids don’t feel trapped in the same cycle. This is what real agency looks like: not control, but “authorship”, of our own story, and of theirs.

Turns out paying it forward might be the smartest retirement plan of all, and another tool in our kitbag to keep the old man from coming in too soon.

If you enjoyed this article, you can find loads more at The Wisdom Vault. Head on over to https://thewisdomvault.org. And as always I warmly welcome your feedback.

Thank you for reading.

This article was published in The Good Men Project

Your inner critic has a ‘dad’ voice. How to shut it up without starting a family feud

You’re about to send an email to your boss when you hear it. That voice. “Check your spelling. Don’t embarrass yourself.” It sounds suspiciously like your old man. Or maybe it’s your English teacher, Mr Thompson from Year 10, or that first manager who never thought you measured up. Whoever it is, they’ve been living rent-free in your head since about 1987, and it’s time to serve them an eviction notice.

For men transitioning through midlife, this voice can feel louder than ever. You’re making big decisions about career, purpose, and relationships. And there’s Dad, or his mental ghost, shaking his head at every move. The good news? That voice isn’t yours. The better news? You can rewrite it.

The psychological parent won’t shut up

Research from psychologists Amy Bloom and Gabriela Bloom reveals something fascinating about our inner critic. It’s not actually us talking. It’s an internalised echo of authority figures from our formative years. Parents, coaches, teachers, the people who shaped us when we were most vulnerable to their influence.

Pod O’Sullivan, host of the Don’t Let The Old Man In podcast, links the inner critic to what Buddhists call the comparing mind, a relentless internal judge that measures us against impossible standards. “It’s not just about performance,” he says in one of the post-episode reflections he offers to listeners. “It’s a conditioned pattern that keeps us mentally imprisoned.” In another episode, he puts it more bluntly. “Most blokes I talk to are carrying their father’s anxiety like it’s a family heirloom. They don’t realise they’ve got the option to put it down.”

The dad voice that sounds like motivation but feels like guilt

Here’s where it gets tricky. Often, we mistake the critic for our own thoughts. It feels like we’re being tough on ourselves, holding ourselves accountable when in fact we are experiencing other emotions such as guilt or fear.

Steve Keys, co-founder of The Wisdom Vault, an organisation helping men navigate midlife successfully, sees this pattern constantly. “Men arrive at 50 and realise they’ve been performing someone else’s life. The critic they thought was motivation was actually fear — fear of disappointing Dad, fear of being seen as less than.”

Recognition is the first step. When you can say, “Ah, there’s Mr. Johnson from year 10 again,” you create distance. You’re no longer operating on autopilot.

Rewriting the script without burning the family album

How do you quiet the critic without dishonouring where you came from? You’re not deleting your dad from your life. You’re just remixing the soundtrack.

Start by labelling it. When that critical voice pipes up, name it out loud. “That’s dad talking.” Or “Hello, Mr Wilson, from my football club when I was 12.” This simple act of externalising creates psychological distance.
Next, challenge it. Would you speak to your best mate this way? If your son came to you with the same worry, would you pile on the criticism or offer support? The standard you hold yourself should be at least as kind as what you’d offer others.
Research published in The Minds Journal suggests introducing an ‘inner coach’ as a counterweight. If your inner critic sounds like dad in cargo shorts shaking his head at your life choices, let your inner coach sound like your favourite uncle — the one who bought you ice cream after every cricket match and told you you’d be right.
Finally, practice mindful observation. Ben Larke, a clinical psychologist based in Sydney who specialises in helping people through midlife transitions, suggests that an optimal approach is not about suppression. He suggests that liberation comes through observing with curiosity rather than force. Notice the critic when it shows up. Don’t fight it. Just acknowledge it and choose a gentler response.

From family feud to inner peace

The goal isn’t to silence every critical thought. Some self-reflection is healthy. But there’s a difference between constructive feedback and the relentless inner prosecutor that makes you feel like you’re on trial for being human.

Quieting the critic doesn’t mean you’re rejecting your upbringing or your father. It means you’re honouring your growth. You’re choosing a voice that actually serves the man you’re becoming, not the boy you were expected to be.

Pod says, “The old man in your head can retire. He’s earned it. But you’ve got to give yourself permission to be your own boss now.”

When you turn the volume down on those old voices, something remarkable happens. You make room for your authentic one. The voice that knows you’re already enough, that trusts your judgment, that speaks with kindness instead of fear. It sounds like you. Finally.

This article was published in Beam in Business.

World-leading longevity researcher reveals: “You can’t blame your genes” for how you age

The latest episode of Don’t Let The Old Man In podcast features Professor Andrea Maier, one of the world’s most prolific longevity researchers and a leading voice in translating cutting-edge aging science into practical action.

As the Oon Chiew Seng Professor in Medicine at the National University of Singapore, Co-Director of the Centre for Healthy Longevity, and founding president of the Healthy Longevity Medicine Society, Professor Maier has published nearly 400 peer-reviewed articles and advised the World Health Organization on healthy aging policy.

In this candid conversation with host Pod O’Sullivan – an entrepreneur who successfully sold businesses, executive coach to hundreds of CEOs across Asia for over 25 years, and current doctoral student in Oxford – Professor Maier breaks down the science of healthy longevity into actionable strategies men can implement today.

Actionable Insights for Healthy Ageing

Professor Maier breaks down complex biogerontology into strategies men can implement immediately:

Biological Age Testing: Understand how the”internal clock” ticks compared to your peers.
Combatting Cellular Senescence: Learn how”aging cells” contribute to disease and how to target them.
Brain Health: Prioritise cognitive maintenance, a frequently underestimated factor in midlife planning.
Proven Interventions: Specific diet changes can potentially add a decade to your life, while tailored exercise protocols protect vital organ function.

“The question is: how do we prevent the onset of chronic disease?” says Professor Maier.”This is about optimising health and interrogating aging processes across the life course”.

Listen to the Episode

Don’t Let The Old Man In releases new episodes every week.

Subscribe on your preferred platform to never miss an episode, and find us on social media for clips, bonus content, and community discussions.

About Professor Andrea Maier

Professor Maier is the Oon Chiew Seng Professor in Medicine at the National University of Singapore and Co-Director of the Centre for Healthy Longevity. As a biogerontologist and internal medicine specialist, she leads international clinical trials to translate geroscience into accessible healthcare.

New Australian Podcast Tackles Men’s Midlife Mental Health Crisis Head-On

A groundbreaking conversation about male suicide prevention launches this week on Don’t Let The Old Man In Podcast, featuring Stuart O’Neill – the mental health advocate whose self-published book has quietly become a global suicide prevention tool used by crisis services, hospitals, and families across 20 countries.

In ”Just One Reason: Stuart O’Neill on Survival, Hope and the Power of Connection,” host Pod O’Sullivan explores how one man’s darkest moment sparked a movement that has distributed over 50,000 copies of a deceptively simple book designed to interrupt suicidal thoughts.

Stuart’s story began with the collapse of his marriage. Alone overseas, he planned to end his life until a single realisation stopped him.

That moment of clarity became Just One Reason, a 10-minute read that asks practical, grounding questions designed to create a circuit breaker during a crisis.”Your brain plays tricks on you,” Stuart explains.”The book teaches you to play one back.”

What began as a self-published book has been adopted by Lifeline, prescribed by doctors, and shared in settings from police stations to drought- stricken farms. The movement’s reach extends from a 10-year-old Melbourne boy who began speaking again after reading it, to adults across demographics who’ve found hope in its pages.

“I thought I was writing a book for men,” Stuart admits.”But what I’ve learned is that pain doesn’t care about gender. We’re all human.”

The episode explores Stuart’s unconventional approach to mental health advocacy – including flying books into rural communities during drought, creating Australia’s first”mental health pub” at the Deepwater Hotel, and sitting at kitchen tables with families in crisis across regional Australia.

Why This Episode Matters Now

Australian men face disproportionate suicide rates, with limited resources designed specifically for male experiences of crisis. This episode arrives as mental health services report increasing demand from men in midlife facing relationship breakdowns, career transitions, and social isolation.

Where to listen

”Just One Reason: Stuart O’Neill on Survival, Hope and the Power of Connection” launches 28 October 2025 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Heart, and all major podcast platforms.

Brought to you by The Wisdom Vault

The Wisdom Vault is an Australian educational platform for men in midlife. We publish practical articles, produce podcasts, and host community experiences that help men move through change with confidence. Where career shifts meet family changes, health becomes a priority, community involvement becomes essential, and financial planning gets real, we create conversations that matter.

New Podcast Tackles What Comes After Success for Men at Midlife

Australian men are significantly more likely to experience mental health challenges during midlife transitions, yet resources specifically designed for this demographic remain scarce.

We’re launching a podcast that tackles this overlooked story, one that is already resonating strongly with the audience we built this for.

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – October 2025 – The Wisdom Vault launches Don’t Let The Old Man In, a weekly podcast for men navigating the transitions of midlife, from career shifts and health priorities to evolving relationships and finding what comes next. Hosted by Pod O’Sullivan, a current Doctoral student at Oxford studying how men navigate midlife, an entrepreneur, transitions expert, and executive coach. The show addresses a question many men face in their forties and beyond: “I’ve achieved what I set out to do. Now what?” Through candid conversations with experts and ordinary men living through it, the podcast moves beyond midlife crisis clichés to offer practical tools and real perspectives.

First Episode: October 14th

The inaugural episode features Michael Bungay Stanier, a renowned thought leader in coaching and leadership, author, and Rhodes Scholar. Pod and Michael explore positive ageing, marriage, and how to train for your last decade.

“My goal is to infect people with the possibility virus,” says Stanier.

Each week, listeners will hear discussions with experts in health, relationships, career, money, and mindset, focused on practical changes and actionable insights.

Where to Listen

Don’t Let The Old Man In launches Tuesday, October 14th, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. New episodes release weekly, with clips available across social channels. Listeners can subscribe to updates on upcoming episodes and live events.

Brought to you by The Wisdom Vault

Our flagship podcast, Don’t Let The Old Man In, sits at the heart of this mission