Introduction
Men’s mental health in midlife rarely gets talked about until something breaks. For Ian Westmoreland OAM, the turning point came on a Sydney train at 59 and a half, and it led him to walk away from a senior IT career and build two charities: Mentoring Men, which offers free life mentoring to men across Australia, and Kintsugi Heroes, which shares real stories of people overcoming adversity.
In this episode of Don’t Let The Old Man In, Ian talks about finding purpose after a corporate career, why men need to be heard rather than fixed, and what stage three melanoma taught him about gratitude, legacy and the meaning of success.
Why this conversation matters
What we discuss
- The book passage that described Ian at exactly 59 and a half, and why he left paid work within months
- A handwritten reply from Dick Smith in 1993, and how a 30-second note shaped the next 30 years
- The talking circle Ian was sure would be a disaster, and what happened when the first man spoke
- Moving from a judgemental man to a more loving one, and his “bead on a wire” approach to keeping an open mind
- Kintsugi, the Japanese craft of mending pottery with gold, and the 400 stories it has inspired
- The cost of passion, the family moments he has missed and the partner who made it all possible
- Stage three melanoma, brain tumours and remission, and why gratitude was his strongest emotion in hospital
- Ian’s definition of success, and the day he worked out why he was born
Why midlife men should listen
If you’re in your 50s and wondering whether there’s more to life than the next deadline, Ian has lived that exact question. He was a senior IT manager when he gave up the salary to give back, with one modest goal: lose as little money as possible along the way.
He grew up believing a man looked like a cross between Clint Eastwood, James Bond and Indiana Jones. Lone wolves, all of them. Today he cries at films, lets his grandkids paint his toenails and would rather define a good human being than a man. He’s honest about the cost of his drive too. He works most weekends, has missed family functions and admits he still hasn’t got the balance right.
And his account of being told there was nothing more mainstream medicine could do, then finding himself in remission, is one of the most grounded conversations about mortality we’ve had on the show. Ian says there are worse things than dying. He’d just like to leave a legacy first.
Guest info
Ian Westmoreland
Ian Westmoreland OAM is the founder of Mentoring Men and Kintsugi Heroes. He spent 42 years in the Australian and New Zealand telecommunications and energy industries, mostly as an IT project manager, before a moment on a train on 10 September 2013 led him to retire from paid work in 2014 and begin a volunteer career. He mentored students in high schools and primary schools through the youth mentoring foundation RAISE and the Kids Hope program.
In 2018 he launched Mentoring Men, a registered charity providing free, long-term, one-to-one life mentoring for men across Australia. In 2022 he founded Kintsugi Heroes, which records real stories of people overcoming adversity and shares them through podcasts, books, radio broadcasts on the Vision Australia network and community events. Ian was awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia (OAM) for his work. He’s a World Masters gold medallist in tennis, has been married for more than 40 years and has 13 grandchildren.
