Introduction
What does it really mean to be a man in midlife? For many men in their 40s, 50s, and beyond, the loneliness epidemic hits hardest precisely when it should feel easiest — when careers are established, children are raised, and the world looks, from the outside at least, like it’s going well.
Men’s circles are emerging as one of the most powerful and practical responses to that quiet crisis: structured, peer-led spaces where men build emotional intelligence, mental resilience, and genuine connection — not through therapy, not through a course, but through showing up honestly with other men, week after week.
Why this conversation matters
Male loneliness isn’t a new problem, but it’s finally getting the attention it deserves. Men in midlife are particularly vulnerable — kids leaving home, careers in transition, relationships under strain, and the slow realisation that the stoic blueprint they were handed doesn’t actually work.
Pasco Ashton has spent the last six years building something that does. Men’s Circle, which he co-founded in 2020 after losing two friends to suicide and confronting his own profound loneliness in London, has grown from an informal gathering in a park into the UK’s largest men’s self-development community. This isn’t a conversation about vulnerability as a concept. It’s a conversation about what men actually do with it.
What we discuss in this episode
- How grief, loneliness, and the call of #MeToo led Pasco to start
- Men’s Circle in a London park in 2020
- What a men’s circle actually is — the format, the structure, and what happens in the first 20 minutes for a first-timer
- Why men arrive seeking social connection and leave with something far bigger: self-awareness, accountability, and personal transformation
- The three-stage circle journey — awareness, acceptance, and agency — and why men always want to rush straight to action
- The midlife crisis reframed: why Pod and Pasco both prefer “midlife reevaluation” and what men’s circles offer at that crossroads
- Why older men make the best circle facilitators — and Pasco’s direct invitation to our listeners to consider that role
- Authenticity vs the Manosphere: why Pasco’s version of masculinity is a harder sell, and why it actually works
- The adult-adult principle: what it means to leave your title at the door and meet other men as equals
- Fatherhood, purpose, and the push-pull between meaning and providing
- The intergenerational magic of circles — and what older men give younger men that no one else can
Why midlife men should listen
If you’ve ever felt lonely in a room full of people, or found yourself wondering who you’d actually call if things got hard — this episode is for you. Pasco speaks directly to the experience of men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s who are navigating change, loss, and the question of what comes next. He doesn’t offer a quick fix. What he offers instead is a framework for doing the slow, meaningful work of becoming a man who can actually look after himself — and, from that grounded place, look after everyone else.
The research is clear and so is Pasco: isolation is killing men. But connection, real connection with other men, is the antidote. And it’s closer than you think.
Reflections and Experiments
Pod provides reflections on each conversation, summarises what he has learned from the guest, and suggests one experiment he plans to try as a result of their shared information.
Pod's reflections
Personal follow-on episodes unpacking the themes, insights and lived experience behind each discussion.
Listen or watch on:
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Apple
Guest info
Pasco Ashton
Pasco Ashton is the Executive Director and co-founder of Men’s Circle — described as the UK’s largest men’s self-development community. An ecology graduate from the University of Sussex and former journalist for Vice and Al Jazeera, Pasco transitioned from systemic social change into personal transformation after losing two friends to suicide and confronting his own male loneliness in London. What began as an informal gathering of mates in a park during lockdown has grown into a national ecosystem of online circles, in-person retreats, socials, and a facilitator training programme now reaching the UK, Europe, and North America.
A qualified one-to-one coach for mental resilience and self-care, Pasco is also a new father and a passionate advocate for intergenerational connection. He has been featured in CNN, Men’s Fitness UK, and The Guardian, and speaks widely on male loneliness, emotional intelligence, and what it really means to be a man today.
